The Highs and Lows of Teaching

This month has been filled with many highs and lows. For the first time I question whether I can make it through this. Whether I have what it takes to complete this mission. I thought that October was suppose to be the hardest month, but for me it has been February. The students’ behaviors have seem to have gotten worse than last semester. Also the state science test is on March 07, 2007. Very few of my students are taking preparation for the test seriously. The students were given a practice MCT the second week in February, and the average score was about fifty percent. This was the third practice test they have been given this year. The scores should have been around seventy-five percent. This makes me question whether I am doing my job. I can say that many of them did improve from the first test, which was the same test as the third practice test. Actually all of them improved. This is a great plus. Back to teaching in general. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am learning so much about myself. I always thought I was one of those people who had it all together. Now I question how much I really have it together. I look in the mirror don’t even recognize myself. Who am I and when did I change so much? Has teaching in the Delta changed me this much? Or is this something that naturally happens when you enter the “real world.” I am filled with emotion, which is a good thing I guess. On the other hand, I am a stronger person than I ever imagined myself to be. I get up every morning and give my best no matter how many bad days I have had. That is the way it is with teaching. I have a some bad days and some good days. But I know that my suffering will be well worth it in the end. I am not doing this for myself, I am doing it for the children. I am making difference. Maybe I can inspire one child to reach for the stars and follow their dreams. Sometimes I can see these changes happening. I see it when that one student who misbehaves changes their conduct, when that one student who has been struggling passes a test, and when the students who do not understand the lesson stay after school to ask for assistance. If only I could get these changes to occur more often. For now I am happy with the progress. Although it is very little, it is progress. However, I will strive to bring out the best in my students. I will do my best to get these moments to occur more often.